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April 29, 2004
There comes a point of time in your miserable life where you stop short in your tracks and dwelve into your own imaginary fantasy world. You dream of sitting on a beach with Cameron Diaz, dining with Britney Spears or just chilling out with Sarah Michelle Gellar.
4/29/2004 01:46:00 AM
I kinda had that "moment" today. And it was none other with the ever charismatic Lindsay Lohan. She's grown up to be a very pretty lady ever since she appeared on "Parent Trap". Ahhhhhh, keep looking at her pictures today. Cant get my eyes off her. Another gal who ive had a major crush on last time was Shiri Appleby, from the tv series Roswell. Everytime i see her on tv, my eyes would just be transfixed on her all the way. I even had dreams of meeting her one day and there were days when all i could do was think about her. Kinda weird huh? But i dont know, maybe im just running away from reality. Cos reality just doesnt feels right. Nothing feels right anymore. April 26, 2004
Fuck Max!It crashes like every one minute now when im suppose to finish up my assignment. ARgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4/26/2004 11:46:00 PM
April 25, 2004
bbeckham's Bonalike Theory
4/25/2004 09:23:00 PM
Saturday + Sunday = 48 Hours 48 Hours - Sleep = 24 Hours So, 24 Hours = ACAN Rush Hour ACAN Rush Hour - (Games + Slack) / 2 = 0 Hours Therefore, ACAN Rush Hour is equal to 0 Hours. In simple terms, it was slack time all the way. Morale and mood was really low after the end of FYP. Wanted to do my assignment but its so hard to concentrate nowadays. Stayed home for the weekends and the computer was there to remind me of the ACAN assignment to be done. My cousin from Indonesia came over today from his workplace. If you haven't guess it yet, im half-indonesian. He's a sailor like the rest in the family line. My dad was an ex-sailor too, just like my uncles, cousins and the rest of the family. Maybe that's where my interest in the sun, the sand and the sea comes from. My cousin job is basically to steer the ship to it's destination. Or shall i call it the "driver" of the ship. haha. That means he's the captain of the ship. He even took a 2 day course in SP for some kind of nautical test using the ship simulation thingy that they have. Anyway, his ship had an engine overhaul and it's gonna take 2 months to complete. So he'll be in Singapore for at least 8 weeks until it's done. He usually stays in my room when he's in Singapore and i like to start a conversation with him. Maybe it's because the age gap isn't too wide between us, he's only 24+. I remembered the times when i asked him about the places he's been to and it was quite astounding to hear his answer. Holland, China, Malaysia were just some of the places he mentioned. Wow, if i fail in my journey to be a director or multimedia artist, i wouldn't mind switching to this occupation. Everyone in the family have done it, maybe it's my destiny to be one. He couldnt stay too long because it was about to rain and for the fact that he has to work tommorow. Once he went off, its back to reality again and ACAN was the priority on top of my list of things to be done today. But i think i wasted quite some time downloading some albums from Bit Torrent. I managed to squeeze in AC/DC, Rage Against The Machine, Jet and Alanis Morissette albums into the downloads i had today. Time for me to get back to ACAN. Enjoy the weekend people... April 24, 2004
One more down. One last to go before the exam.
4/24/2004 12:23:00 AM
April 21, 2004
Finally, the worst is over. The torturous months taken to finally finish up the final year project was worth it. We presented yesterday by wearing a t-shirt with our own "Game Desginer" logo printed on it. That broke the SP tradition of wearing a suit and formal pants for a final year presentation. We were the only ones in their history to do it, and along the way won applause for the bold move. I created the powerpoint by myself and the only mistake i made was to forget removing the words "moronic lecturers" in the slide. Luckily i didn't present that part it but my friend Cai Zhi did.
4/21/2004 10:17:00 PM
Everything went smooth sailing during the presentation. Our 3D fighting game was rendered "good" by the judges, something we were proud of, as during the interim presentation, they critisized us for quite a bit. But there was one bug they missed which is the most funniest bug i've ever seen. Sometimes when a player faces off against an AI some time into the game, for no apparent reason, the character the AI controls would float away from the scene and into the sky never to be seen again!haha. I cant stop laughing about that.One chapter is closed and two more to go. Talking about FYP, i found out that two of my friends from two other different group was so stressed and depressed after their presentation. After hearing of their problems, it opened up my eyes to how some people show their true colour when cornered. This is something i wouldn't like to talk about openly but it will stay on my mind for some time. Other than that,i've been waiting for my NS enlistment letter and it is still nowhere in sight. Called CMPB but was told that another bunch of letters would be sent out this month, Maybe i'll receive it then. A few more weeks and im going to graduate. Life is going to change soon... April 18, 2004
Had NAPFA test two days ago. Was kinda reluctant to go at first cos i have not been active for weeks due to the enormous pile of assignments and tasks to be done. In short, i can only say i excel in the sprinting where i clock 10.05 sec to get 5 points.I suprised myself by getting 12min 5sec for my 2.4km as the last test run i had with Chee Wee a few months back was a time of 13min plus. I ran like mad and keep looking to the sky to ease the pain away while running. I sprinted with all my strength for the last lap and managed to outrun 2 person who was just about to reach the finishing line. Other than that, i wasted my pull up by letting go just as the malay guy told me to start. He told me i had the fastest time to date and im proud of it.haha. I didnt want to squirm like those guys when i know in my heart that im still far away from reaching the 5 pull ups i set myself to do. More gym sessions are waiting for me after all this assignments and exams are done. Time to get into shape and make myself proud once and for all.
4/18/2004 01:03:00 AM
April 16, 2004
I am so exhausted. This has been a hectic week and more will come in the next few days. Even the normal routine today includes me going to Foodcourt 5 like four times today to do our t-shirt designs, doing audio for our game, re-doing the groups logo in a constrain time and climbing the stairs up and down. This after taking Napha test yesterday. And we'll have to work through the weekend to finish the final year project. My brain is dead now.
4/16/2004 11:14:00 PM
April 15, 2004
Here are my answers for my Final Year Project feedback. Sit back and enjoy
4/15/2004 10:44:00 PM
Question 21 What other types of projects would I like to have undertaken? Your Answer: The proposal that we had.Cos it was turned down flat.The choice we wanted was doing some website with flash capabilities.In the end we got a 3-d fighting game.Isnt that too far from what we wanted to do? Question 23 Essay Name one single biggest problem I faced during the course of this module and briefly explain/describe. Your Answer: As my group is doing a 3d fighting game with a new software,we were never fully taught how to use it.The client,MC Cheong,also ACAN assistant, always give us problems cos he himself never fully understands the product.Everytime we ask him a question,he will say he is not too sure.To make it short, he has never helped us in anyway.And now for the executable that we were suppose to have once the project is done,the client says he cannot do it at all for some reason.But now he say he can only give it to us after the final presentation.This makes our final year project the most frustrating and unbearable thing we ever did. Sp really needs to choose the client properly as it really causes us a lot of problems.I think SP are just picking out clients without checking the project first. Another problem is that the labs assigned to us normally has students from other year such as year 2 in the lab,taking up the computers and making noise.This is especially true in 2054.You can always see year 1 n 2 students using it when only year 3 students are suppose to use it. Question 24 Essay Name some of the resources I feel were lacking either in performance or were needed but simply unavailable. Your Answer: Clients help.Enough said. Question 25 Essay What did I like/enjoy the most about this module? Your Answer: Nothing.This is the most unbearable module i ever had Question 26 Essay Other comments. Your Answer: SP is beginning to make me feel that it is a badly run institution. April 14, 2004
My brain cant think anymore. Brain cells deep inside are dying and ageing so quickly creating a wave of painful attacks to the head, causing loss of concentration every single day. Murky and cloudy thoughts stop the brain cells from doing their job and creating me dumber in this instance. The stress in unbearable. Make it stop.
4/14/2004 11:34:00 PM
April 13, 2004
Im so Fucking tired of school assignments which needs to be done every fucking single day. Who is in charge of this schedule that they have given to us? SP is a lie people. Cos Singapore Polytechnic is the worst institution ive ever enrolled in. Who is the guy taking care of the welfare of "SPreans"? I think he know nuts about us students and in my mind, has to be the most corrupted director of an institution all around the world (A friend of Suharto? ("the most corrupted president of all time")). He doesn't even have a clue on what to spend the funds on.
4/13/2004 01:14:00 AM
Maybe he prefers to see beautiful plants as he drives his Mercedes Benz into school. Maybe thats why he spends so much money on some stupid scenery with water along SP gates. Think of the maintenance cost. How much will it add up to? Dont you know we need fucking new softwares and computers? Is making SP more sceneric your job? You might as well be SP's gardener, Mr SP Director. You're a piece of shit and crap. Maybe the enormous amount of money we pay the school every term helps with the endless amount you receive every month. Why dont you take a holiday and go suck money out of other students in other countries. Tell all your friends and family members to be afraid. Be really really afraid. Really afraid of the "goodie" image SP has. What you see outside is not what you see inside... April 09, 2004
I had a "moment" today. Something that occurs out of the blue when u least expect it and flashes inside your mind in a mili-second but seems like hours and hours of footage. It happened when i was outside, looking up to the sky. It was a beautiful evening. The clouds formed a pattern which seems so spectacular and heavenly. Words cannot describe how i was feeling at that moment.
4/09/2004 11:50:00 PM
Thoughts of reaching up to the sky one day and touching the clouds with my own bare hands filled my mind. How was i going to achieve it? With that thought still present, another one came so fast it feels like a ball hitting my face at full speed. Questions after questions cramped up in my tiny brain squeezing it with such might. How is my future going to be like? Will i have a job? Will i earn enough to repay my parents back? What are my siblings going to be when they finish school? Am i gonna afford a car? Will i have a wife? That last question suddenly caused my thoughts to stop flowing and made me crash into a dead end. She came to my mind. "Seven", as i call her among my closest friends to prevent others from knowing who she is, dropped from the top of my mind into the frame of the picture. Images of her ran like slideshows non stop. Old tattered images from places hidden deep inside my mind was brought to life and flashed like wildfire. Reminders of my past which i had erased from my memories with so much pain and anger came to light. I had the urge to ask myself how she is doing, hows her life and many other questions floating around clouding my mind. Then i thought about tommorow. Will i see her in school for the 10th year anniversary of my ex secondary school? MY mind say yes, my heart says no... April 06, 2004
As years go by I race the clock with you
4/06/2004 11:35:00 AM
But if you died right now, you know that I'd die too.. April 04, 2004
On Saturay, after a game with the gang, Joseph and Kent went over to my house to wach the Manchester United match against Arsenal in the Fa Cup Semi Finals. It was a boring match which ended up with a 1-0 win for Manchester. Kent went for his mahjong session after that but Jo decided to sleep over. As usual, his sleep overs always end up with us staying up for the night playing games and doing other stuff. Pro Evolution Soccer 3,a soccer game, was the main dish we had all night long.Slept at 5 am and woke up at 11 am. I had a movie to catch with Azlin and Melissa, my ex-sec school and good friends, at 1.30p.m. Met up with Mel, looking pretty and bubbly as ever, at Jurong East last cabin. My blurness caught up with me when i thought that we were suppose to meet up with Azlin at Tiong Bahru, when we were suppose to meet her at Toa Payoh as she had her taekwando grading. Luckily, it was brought up to my attention just before we reach there. We reached Orchard control station and waited for Azlin. After a few minutes, she emerged with her purple retro specs on.It does make her look kinda good. Like those 70's hip girls.
4/04/2004 11:29:00 PM
We caught the movie The Eye 2,such a coincidence as the last movie we 3 caught together was The Eye. Such a boring show that i should not have wasted my money on. Azlin had to meet up with her boyfriend for a BBQ at Marina Bay and so, me and mel was left all alone. Heres a list of stuff we did then: Followed her shopping, taught her to play pool at Lucky Plaza, walked around Takashimaya, met her friend working at Lemon at Far East, went eating there, talked for ages, walked to Cineleisure for her t-shirt she was looking for (she looked good in it!), me bought a CD at HMV titled Page Avenue by Story Of The Year, listened to tons of Gothic songs she loves, and lastly to Borders where she ordered a Lacuna Coil CD which cant be found elsewhere. After all that, we took the train home. Now im bloody tired. Talking about school, now i am so stressed up as we only have 2 more weeks for all of our assignments to be done. Theres no way we can finish it in time. Sleepless nights are ahead... April 02, 2004
Have you ever wondered what makes life so wonderful? You try to find answers through research and countless explorations but nothing can be scientifically proven to answer that question.
4/02/2004 10:02:00 PM
In my point of view, its the simplest things that makes life worth living. It's the feeling of waking up in the morning to the beautiful sunrise that never stops to lighten up our days. It's the smell of fresh roses from the hands of your loved ones. Its the simple words like "i love you" that brightens up any day of your life. Life is so complicated nowadays. When can we go back to our simple ways? When will we stop for a moment from our busy life and look back at what really matters to us? Thoughts that lingers through our minds such as work and play which impacts our life nonetheless do we need such meaningless ways to make a difference to others? Questions after questions keeps flowing through our minds to keep us occupied all the time. Will such questions stop us from achieving what we want,or start us to appreciate life in its simplest form... |
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Andhikabbeckham/ernie 25.05.84 West Side Civil Defence In Love With Her Jurong Fire Station msn bbeckham@ hotmail.com email bbeckham77@ yahoo.com She
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